I shall start by making a disclaimer.  I LOVE being a mother, and for all the bad there are plenty of good there to outweigh it.  But there are just a few aspects of parenting that I do not enjoy, in the slightest.  So here are my two pet dislikes of my role as a mother….

1. I have never enjoyed bathing my children.

The scene is set.  You have this wonderful tiny bundle of joy that you bring home from the hospital.  You have already changed their first nappy, given them their first feed and lovingly dressed them in their first outfit.  So before you can put them to bed in their first crib you need to give them their first bath.  Well that bubble was well and truly burst in our household!

From the minute I ran my eldest sons bath he screamed.  He screamed whilst I was undressing him and he screamed as I lowered him gently (well as gentle as you can lower a thrashing mess of flailing limbs) into the water.  My husband was poised ready with the camera to capture our sons first bath but quickly abandoned that idea when the screaming reached fever pitch and my son turned purple with anger.  It wasn’t until we removed him from the water and returned him so the safety of my arms that he calmed down.  My second son was not much better.

Fast forward 5 years and the sound of the bath running is still met with cries, but now its lots of;

“But Muuuuuuuuuuum we had a bath YESTERDAY!”.  Yes boys, we wash every day.

“Muuuuuum, Donnie/Hayden (delete where applicable, it changes regularly enough) splashes too much.” Then don’t go near each other, in fact, don’t talk to each other. 

“Muuuuuuuuuum, it’s too cold for a bath.” Honestly boys, when you are my age and someone not only offers to run a bath for you, but wash you and get you dry after, you will NOT be making this excuse!

So with this in mind, I eagerly await the day when my children can take themselves off to the bath, shut the door and leave me in peace…!

1. Getting creative is no fun.

I always feel a tinge of guilt when I hear other parents describe lovingly how they spent a rainy afternoon building lego, painting pictures or baking cakes with their children.  For me, getting creative with my children gives me a sense of dread.

Firstly, Lego is the devil.  Not only is it lethal on the floor (cue banshee screams in the dead of night when you step on one whilst trying to put clothes away in the kids room) but my children lack any imagination when it comes to building things so I am met with “Mum, can you help with this?” Ask your Dad….

I am pleased to say that I do bake occasionally.  And sometimes I even involve the children in this.  I will happily get them standing on chairs to stir the mixture or to crack an egg.  But during this, the following conversation is quite common:

“Mum can I put the eggs in?”

“Yes darling, but don’t smash it too hard on……oh”

“URRRGH Mum it’s all over my hands!”

“Go upstairs and wash your hands, DO NOT touch anything on the way up”

“But Donnie/Hayden will get to do more cooking than me”

“We will wait then”

***waits 10 minutes, Donnie/Hayden wanders off bored, I look at the clock***

“Mum can I stir the mixture?”

“Yes darling just make sure that you don’t stir too hard because it will spill over the……oh”

“MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM it’s all over me!

***sigh***

You see this is the reason that I make cakes whilst the children are in bed, or out of the house!

Bring on stuff that keeps them entertained that’s what I say!

I blogged some time ago about my “bucket list”.  We all have one that we are either working through, or sat there in the back of our minds as a life wish list.  I like lists, so mine are being worked through as we speak.  But I was talking to a peer recently about regrets in life, and about things we have never experienced and it got me thinking.  What have I NOT done?  Does this bother me? Is the list as long as my bucket list?
So with this is mind, here is some of what I HAVEN’T done:

I have never worked in a bar

This may surprise a few people, especially with the amount of jobs that I have had over the years.  But working a bar has never been one of them. 

I admit that the opportunity has never arisen.   But if it had, I don’t think I would have been willing at that time to take it.  And these are for purely selfish reasons.  Why on earth would I want to work somewhere others are having fun whilst I look on through sober eyes?  No thank you. Although that was back in the day when I was in my early 20’s and drinking was a HUGE part of my social life.  If the opportunity came up again, I think I would rather enjoy it…!

I have never felt the urge to have a daughter

Having two boys, the question comes to us on a regular basis – “oh but wouldn’t it be lovely to have a little girl?”.  Mmmm, no not really.  I would feel a bit lost…!

Being the youngest of three girls, I have had my fill of all things pink and feminine growing up.  I have two nieces who I dote on and get to do the hair and nails things with on a regular basis.  That really is enough for me.

When I look at what girls need growing up and heading into teenagers it makes me cringe!!  I also have the added experience of being a girl myself.  I wouldn’t want to wish that on my offspring!

I have never enjoyed Star Wars

GASP! SHOCK! HORROR!

I am from the perfect generation who would have enjoyed Star Wars yet I can honestly say I have never sat through one whole film let alone enjoyed it. Being married to a Star Wars fan and having two children who could act most of the films is enough!

I have never worked anywhere other than my home town

This sounds very insular and non-adventurous of me.  I have lost count of the number of jobs I have held.  They have ranged from being very junior and quite senior, and they have all been in one town.  This has not neccessarily been through choice, but kind of just turned out that way and it suits me very much, especially with the demands of a young family.

So there we have it.  This list could of course go on and on, but these are a few of the main things that I have never done and more importantly, not regretted!

What have you never done?